Goodbye, And Thank You

I don't know what to say, so I suppose "goodbye" and "thank you" are a good start. Growing up, I always knew where my mother stood on Paul Newman. He was simply the best-looking, most amazing specimen of human maleness in the universe. My parents had a funny faux arrangement- they could each pick their fantasy celebrity sexual tryst person and if either of them, as unlikely as it would be, ever actually had the opportunity, well, they'd be given a pass. Mom's pick was Paul Newman. I believe Dad's was Sophia Loren, or as he claimed was stated on her birth certificate, Sophia Claudia Cardinale Gina Lollabrigida Loren.

Back to Paul, though. Yeah, he was a great looking guy. Those looks got him into the movies. He really was just a pretty face back in 1952 when he got his start. But he grew to become one of America's finest film actors. He is truly part of the fabric of our lives. Part of mine, anyway. I've seen Cool Hand Luke at least a dozen times. Cat On A Hot Tin Roof. Hud. The Hustler. The Sting. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Absence of Malice. The Verdict. The Hudsucker Proxy. The Road To Perdition. All the great moments. Taking a pipe-cutter to parking meters. Punching Charlotte Rampling in the face for betraying him. Staying up all night getting bested at 9-ball by Jackie Gleason. Spending another night in the box. Taking on the Bolivian federales. Pulling off the incredible long con. And the lines. He sure delivered a lot of great lines. In Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Butch and Sundance meetup with the Hole In The Wall Gang, whereupon a big man among them (played by Ted Cassidy, a.k.a. Lurch from the Addams Family) challenges Butch to a knife fight for supremacy in the gang. "What's this all about?" asks Butch. Ted's character responds, "I'm fighting you for the leader spot." "The gang's already got a leader." "You always said, any time any one of us feels man enough to take the reins to step on up and take it from you." "Well, that's only because I figured nobody ever would." My favorite, I think, is from Cool Hand Luke, from the scene in which Luke and the film gets its name. Luke gets in on the prison farm's weekly poker game and wins by betting huge and forcing his opponent to fold. As he collects the pot he shows his cards. The loser exclaims, "You got nothin'! You bet it all on nothin' cards?!" Paul flashed that cool, easy smile and replied, "Sometimes nothin' is a real cool hand." We'll miss you, Paul.

Obama Concedes Election With Wordy But Nuanced Argument

In the first, and what appears to be last, of the presidential debates, Senator Obama agreed with nearly everything that his Republican rival said. "I agree with Senator McCain that we need tighter regulation of Wall Street... Senator McCain and I agree on the need for an overhaul on how we do business in Washington," the Illinois Senator said. Mr. Obama made it a point to tell the American people no less than six times that he agreed with John McCain, that John McCain was right. And in a soliloquy that most Americans may have missed for its eloquence and subtlety, Senator Obama graciously bowed out of the presidential race. "Again, my opponent is right. He really does make a lot of very good points, doesn't he? In fact, why don't we just let him run the country? With his concise slogans, snap decisions, unpredictable temperament, and stubborn refusal to acknowledge both the truth and any valid points I make, he is clearly more suited to the job. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to return to my home state where I intend to continue fighting to raise taxes for poor families and to make sure that kindergarteners have graphic sex education in all public schools. Right after my afternoon prayer session. Which way is Mecca?"

White Men, I Come In Peace, Not In Your Wives

I'm not so threatening, my white brothers. Sure, statistically, my penis could be up to 15% larger than yours. Yes, African-Americans, like me, are 95% more likely than their white fellow citizens to either have criminal records themselves, or have a relative in prison, giving us a reason to be just a tad angry at the white system of justice. Don't even get us started on slavery.
Perhaps you've noticed how we lead the field in athletics, including those elite sports you've tried so hard to keep us out of until recently, like tennis and golf.
Try to ignore that nagging feeling that the Negro just might be the true master race after all, and that your White ass will get its come-uppance soon (see big black penis reference from first paragraph). Relax. I'm very well-spoken. Not at all threatening. Jerome! Where's my mirror?
I... I been watchin' U... I think I want to know ya know ya [oh wee oh wee oh]
Said I... I'm a little dangerous... Girl I'd love to show ya show ya [oh wee oh wee oh]
My jungle love- Hunnnh! Good God! [Oh wee oh wee oh]

McCain Is Clear And Consistent

"The fundamentals of our economy are strong."
"The fundamentals of our economy are at risk!"
"We need to create a commission to analyze the economic meltdown."
"We know what went wrong! We don't need no stinking commission!"
"I don't know much about economics."
"I never said I don't know much about economics."
"I am fundamentally a de-regulator."
"We need more regulations and oversight on banking institutions."
"I'm against the AIG bailout."
"We must bail out AIG."

ALL this in the last ten days. From the same guy.

Space, The Final Franchise

Oh my god, I can not wait! I love the Star Trek universe. Gene Roddenberry and his Star Trek were way, way ahead of their time. It premiered in 1965, the year Black Americans gained the right to vote, nationally. At the height of the Cold War. Yeah, James Tiberius Kirk was a little too quick to fight, and some of the moral lessons of the show seem like "just so" naive plays by today's standards. But still... there was a Black woman officer, a Russian helmsman, an Asian navigator, and a fucking pointy-eared Pan-devil alien chief science officer on the bridge. In 1965. And their mission (their 5-year mission) was to explore strange, new worlds. To seek out new life and new civilizations, and to go boldly where no one had gone before (cleaned up the sexism and the split infinitive in one fell swoop).
I love Trek for the same reason (I think) so many others do: It's inspiring and hopeful. It suggests the very best of humanity and even points the way. That goes for the original series and perhaps even more so in the Next Generation. Not that I want to fight over that. It's all encouraging and inspiring. That goes for Voyager and Deep Space Nine, and Enterprise. It's an enduring franchise. It's a universe that speaks to so many of us. But Hollywood is fickle, and it's hard to keep mining the same vein and expect to hit gold.
That's where JJ Abrams comes in. This guy is the hot new thing. Creator of "Alias." Creator of "Lost." He singlehandedly saved the Mission: Impossible series, in my opinion. Here is a man who can give us a fresh, exciting look at familiar friends. If you don't like LOST you haven't seen it. If you've seen it and still don't like it you're an idiot. Why am I talking to you? Go see Trek when it comes out, fool.

Daily Show Clip O' The Month

LIARS!

All right, motherfuckers, the gloves are off! Time to call a spade a spade. These people are liars. They habitually tell lies. They have no compunctions about looking you right in the eye and telling you something that they not only know to be false, but know there's a good possibility you know it's false, too. And they say it anyway! The fucking balls on these people.

They say things like, "I said 'Thanks, but no thanks,' to that 'Bridge to Nowhere," and "I sold the governor's jet on eBay," and "I shook up Alaska and have opposed earmarks," for Palin's part. And McCain will look you right in the eye and say, "I knew all along that Iraq was going to be a long and difficult fight," and "I gave the Viet Cong the names of the Pittsburg Steelers defensive line when they interrogated me for the names of commanding officers," and "I never said I didn't know much about the economy."

The list is painfully long. I'm sure I left out some much better examples, but these were the three (each) that I pulled from the top of my head. And consider this- it is a fact that John McCain called his wife a "trollop" and a "cunt" in front of reporters and aides. That he would call his wife such things at all speaks to his character. The fact that he called her these things in public speaks to his judgment. It speaks volumes. I mean, doesn't it? C'mon, even you hardcore wackjob conservative fundies have to admit that such an outburst belies his wisened war-hero image, right? If not, what would? Does he have to beat his wife on live television and urinate on the American flag before there's even a murmur among Republicans that he may not be fit to lead our nation?

What about Sarah Palin not knowing what the Bush Doctrine is? I almost felt bad for her. Sure, lots of Americans probably don't know what the Bush Doctrine is. And they don't necessarily need to nor should they be expected to. Unless they're running for Vice motherfucking President of the United motherfucking States, claiming that they're more experienced than some stupid ass "community organizer"! These are insincere people who just want to get into office at any cost. They don't care about you. They care about their corporate sponsors, and that's it. Can it be any more obvious? "You can actually see Russia from Alaska," and did you know that "Barack Obama wants to teach sex education to kindergarteners"?

That Appetizer You Like...

It's pronounced broo-sketta.

You're welcome.

POW, Right In The Kisser

Gay Republicans, In And Out Of The Closet, Endorse McCain

In a monumentally ineffectual move against their own interests, oxymoronic gay Republican group "The Log Cabin Republicans" officially endorsed John McCain, the GOP nominee.
"Sen. McCain is no George Bush when it comes to gay issues. We are much more optimistic and enthusiastic about Sen. McCain," Patrick Sammon, the group's president, told Reuters. The endorsement may boost McCain's reputation as a maverick who reaches across partisan lines, but it may not go down well (no pun intended) with his party's conservative Christian base.

"God hates fags! You people who choose to engage in sodomy and sin shall burn in hell forever!" suggested Governor Palin. "I mean," she added "that's what it says in the Bible." Yes, it does say that somewhere. Some would argue, and have, that that alone is reason to take a more critical look at traditional Christian attitudes. Do we, most of us, really want to be ruled by a bunch of superstitious fucking homophobes? I don't think so. At least, I fucking hope not. In other news, the NAACP has endorsed their pick for the new Grand Dragon of the Ku Klux Klan, and the United Union Workers of America have voted unanimously to stop pestering Home Depot, WalMart, General Motors, and all supermarket chains. "You guys can probably take better care of workers' interests than we can, let's face it," admitted a sheepish Jim Hoffa, Jr., president of the United Teamsters Union.

Media Boosting Myth About OffShore Drilling Potential – Paper

SustainableBusiness.com News

The media has played a significant role in convincing Americans that offshore drilling for oil in the United States could significantly lower the price of gasoline, according to an analysis released by the Center for Economic and Policy Research.
Even though the U.S. Department of Energy's (DOE) Energy Information Agency has stated that the benefits from such drilling would be too small to have any significant effect on oil prices, the media has overwhelmingly conveyed the impression that it could. Media coverage of the issue may have influenced public opinion, with a majority now favoring expanded drilling.
"This is a clear case where the overwhelming majority of the media has not done its job," said CEPR Co-Director and co-author of the paper, Mark Weisbrot.
The paper, "Oil Drilling In Environmentally Sensitive Areas: The Role of the Media," finds that in 267 television news broadcasts, the Energy Information Agency data was cited only once. Also, in 91% of the news programs in this sample, there was not even an opposing opinion presented.
"There really isn't any excuse for the media to ignore the official data on this issue," said Weisbrot. "It's like reporting on the economy and ignoring the official data on GDP growth, unemployment, or inflation. No wonder the public is confused."

Read more- http://www.sustainablebusiness.com/index.cfm/go/news.display/id/16702

Jesus Endorses Obama/Biden Ticket

“I don’t usually endorse a candidate, or even a party, despite what some say. But this election is just too important. You can’t survive four more years of the same old politics. John McCain will continue the failed policies of George Bush. He’s said so already by admitting that he voted with the president over 90% of the time, when he shouts about off-shore drilling, and when he prattles on about the “success” of “the surge,” as if the last year was the whole story of the war in Iraq.”

The freakishly Western-European-featured Semitic savior added, “And that shrew of a running mate will do her best to erode women’s Me-given right to choose what is best for their bodies and their future. She wants to foist prayer on people in public schools. What did I say about praying like the Pharisees? And Creationism? Lady, please. Do I really need to go back and add a new foreword explaining the subtleties of metaphor and parables? Come on people! For My sake! What will it take for you all to wake up?”

McCain Campaign: "We meant to do that!"

As McCain droned on about his POW experience and co-opted the Obama campaign's message of change, a powerful image of the Walter Reed Army Medical Center, which has famously cared for so many wounded military men and women (and infamously ignored many others) served as his backdrop. Oh wait, that's not the WRAMC in Virginia! That's Walter Reed Middle School in North Hollywood, California!

It could have been worse. That poor staffer could have used another of the many Google images she collected while surfing for a suitable tableau, like this one of the little cabin that Walter Reed was born in (right)-

This is the place (left) that they meant to exploit, er... use to underscore their proprietary, arrogant attitude and specious contention that they are the "real" patriots. Someone's getting fired.

The principal of Walter Reed Middle School, Donna Tobin, released a statement on the school's website saying that the school had not given permission for the footage to be used, "nor is the use of our school’s picture an endorsement of any political party or view."

McCain's McMortgage McCrisis McWoes

As a U.S. senator, Phil Gramm shepherded a law easing regulation of energy-commodity trading, and California experienced a sharp run-up in energy costs. Some of you may recall that California’s Democratic governor, Gray Davis, was scape-goated over this debacle and subsequently removed from office in a controversial recall election won by current Governator, Arnold Schwarzenegger. Energy-trading giant, Enron, was blamed for the gouging and fraud and soon went down in a hail of subpoenas and indictments.
In 1999, Gramm lobbied successfully to have Congress revoke the Depression-era Glass-Steagall Act, removing the decades-old wall between commercial banking, which was heavily regulated, and investment banking, which was not. The Gramm-Leach-Bliley Act did not extend significant new regulation to investment banking. Some economists point to Gramm’s deregulatory efforts like these, along with poor oversight and lax enforcement, for not only the current crisis in the subprime mortgage industry, but for the cascading crises in other finance sectors.

And we must keep in mind, or rather, Obama and Biden must keep reminding us-

1. that Phil Gramm and the Republican party are responsible for the grave recession we find ourselves in;
2. that John McCain still relies on Gramm’s counsel and has hinted that he would appoint Gramm Secretary of the Treasury if he gets elected;
3. and that Phil Gramm said, as recently as July of this year, that America’s financial troubles are all in our minds. I believe he said it is a “mental recession,” and that we’re all a bunch of “whiners.”
   

As Jared Bernstein of the Economic Policy Institute told the Washington Post, “McCain is counting on people having very short memories and not connecting some pretty obvious dots here.”

Palin Haiku(s)

Big oil governor
forty-seventh largest state
by population
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
O pious Christian
Please tell us whom we may fuck
And whom we may not
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I must now admit
Liking the looks and the style
But that voice cracks glass
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lie, Dragon Lady
Do distort the facts some more
Works most ev'ry time

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Caribou Barbi
I heard that nickname somewhere
I do like it so

Yes, Her Teenaged Daughter's Pregnancy Is Relevant

Here's why: Governor Sarah Palin is a staunch advocate of abstinence-only programs. She opposes sex education in public schools (while supporting creationism in public schools). She opposes making contraceptives accessible to teenagers. Palin, and right-wingers like her, believe that the only thing teenagers need to hear about sex is: DON'T DO IT! Yeah, see how well that works?

It's not that she must be a bad mom, or that she can't manage her own family, let alone a nation. Seriously. These things do happen to real families of all political stripes. It is not a personal issue. It's a relevant political issue. If she has her way, she will snip out any and all sex ed your kid might get in school. If she has her way, anyone under eighteen won't even be able to purchase a condom without parental consent. If she has her way, all young women who have been denied the facts of reproduction and access to contraceptives will also be denied the right to decide for themselves what to do with their own bodies, and their own lives. Governor Palin's 17-yr old daughter's pregnancy serves to underscore the utter futility and ridiculousness of the "just say no" approach to teen sex.

Newsflash! Young people really like fucking. And, as with all enticing yet forbidden things, the more they are denied it, the more they gotta have it. Particularly if "it" is fucking. I'm quite fond of fucking, myself [sad, but true, if unintended pun]. Evangelicals are asking our hormone-overloaded teens to deny their biological imperative; a biological imperative forged by millions of years of evolutionary processes. Oh, right... she doesn't believe in evolution. She thinks "God" poofed everything into existence a few thousand years ago. Who's the one with the pregnant teen, again?

RNC Morphs into Jerry Lewis-Style Telethon

From The Huffington Post today:

September 1, 2008 at 07:01 PM
"The PR push by the GOP to present itself as the party that puts "country first" was already broken by the first night of Republican National Convention.
Fearful of "Katrina deja-vu," GOP officials worked furiously to prove to voters that they could manage a disaster in a way the Bush administration failed to do three years ago.
The convention opened Monday night with a video presentation of Gulf Coast governors introduced by Cindy McCain and Laura Bush. "This is a time when we take off our Republican hats."

Yes, it is the Republican Party that really cares about the downtrodden. If anyone can respond to a natural disaster that threatens the poor and the middle class, it is Buch-Cheney-McCain-Palin. Afterall, they were so sensitive during the aftermath of Katrina-

"What I'm hearing which is sort of scary is that they all want to stay in Texas. Everybody is so overwhelmed by the hospitality. And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway so this (chuckle) – this is working very well for them." –Former First Lady Barbara Bush, on the hurricane evacuees at the Astrodome in Houston, Sept. 5, 2005

John McCain cautioned against overspending in support of Katrina victims: "We also have to be concerned about future generations of Americans," he said. "We're going to end up with the highest deficit, probably, in the history of this country." Right. Because of helping victims. Not at all because of Iraq or any of the other examples of gross mismanagement by the Bush administration.

"Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job." –President Bush, to FEMA director Michael Brown, while touring hurricane-ravaged Mississippi, Sept. 2, 2005