Crazy Like A Fox

In just over three weeks, we will inaugurate our 44th President of the United States. The whole world will be watching. American minorities, especially blacks, will see with their own eyes something they may not have dared to wish for, let alone expect: a black man sworn in as President of the United States of America. As a people --American people, white, black, and all shades in between-- together, we will take that step forward. It is a significant step in the right direction, long overdue, and truly a momentous occasion. The moment itself, Barack Obama's hand on Abraham Lincoln's bible, tears streaming down the cheeks of Americans everywhere, bespeaks of the long and arduous journey to get here. It might yet be short of the Promised Land that Dr. King spoke of, but it is a giant leap forward, nonetheless. The whole world will take notice.

So what the fuck is Über Pastor Rick Warren doing there? This is what the majority of Obama's base are doing these days, scratching their heads and shouting, "Hey, Barack. WE WON! You can stop with the politicking and the canoodling with the Right!" I think many people on the left feel that his landslide election is a mandate, and that people of Rick Warren's political bent can suck eggs. It's interesting, this angry reaction from the left. I understand the feeling, and it's not hard to argue that such feelings are justified. From the liberal point of view, Warren's brand of fundamentalist Christianity is particularly intolerant and arrogantly certain. In their world, gay people choose to be "deviants" who are ridiculed, hated, and often beaten for their "choice." In their world, a fertilized human egg has more rights than the woman of indisputable personhood who carries it, and more than the millions of suffering people who would benefit from well-funded stem cell research. In their world, the cornerstone of modern biology, a demonstrable fact that impacts all of the life-sciences, medicine, disease control-- biological evolution-- is just some elaborate ruse concocted by Satan, with no real merit at all. In their world, all of our children should be forced to listen to their pseudo-scientific drivel a.k.a. "Creationism" a.k.a. "Intelligent Design," all of which amount to nothing more than religious wishful thinking.

So yes, I'm not immune to those feelings of irritation at the thought of this glorious moment being tainted by the appearance of this anti-intellectualist, gay-bashing, woman-hater. So I had to ask myself, "Why did Barack pick this guy to lead the invocation prayer at his inauguration? Does he know how most of the people who voted for him feel about this guy?" Following his campaign for the last nearly two years, I have seen a very keen intellect and an astute observer in Barack Obama. I think he is politically left of center just as his opponents accused him of being, and that there is probably precious little that he and Pastor Warren agree on in terms of social issues and politics. He's certainly smart enough to know how his base feels about the man. So why did he pick him?

I'm convinced it's all part of his Grand Vision of the future of American politics. We're becoming more and more divided and angry and entrenched. Let's take the abortion issue as a microcosm. I guess that one is big enough to be a macrocosm, but it serves as a great example of what I mean. However one may feel about it, unexpected and unwanted pregnancies can be a terrifying experience. However one may feel about it, some young women will go to any lengths to terminate such pregnancies, including suicide. When it comes to Life's Problems, it's a Real Big One. Prior to Roe v Wade, thousands of women were dying or being made infertile each year due to illegal abortions performed by non-healthcare professionals. Any invasive procedure has risks and should not be entrusted to anyone without the proper credentials. Think about it: women were drinking home-spun concoctions to force miscarriage or literally letting someone fish out their fetuses from their wombs with wire hangers. There's a reason you keep hearing about those old hangers. Can you imagine any female you love lying there while some non-doctor feels around inside her with a fucking coat hanger? But I digress. Obviously there are strong opinions on this issue.

I was fortunate enough to attend the Civil Forum at Rick Warren's Saddleback Church when Senators John McCain and Barack Obama were questioned separately by the Pastor. On this issue of abortion, Senator Obama said from the start that he supports Roe v Wade and a woman's right to choose. He was also quick to point out that he and others who share that opinion are not "pro abortion." It's not as if we all sit around saying, "Abortions fucking rule! I wish everyone would get one!" He didn't quite put it that way, but that's what he said. Actually he was a bit too professorial for me, or rather, for most, because he tends to overthink when he's speaking off-the-cuff, in my opinion. But essentially he conveyed this: Roe v Wade is in the books for some 35 years. In that time, pro-life and pro-choice have shouted and screamed at each other and claimed moral victories and gotten more and more entrenched and inflexible. Neither side really even cares to listen to the other, meanwhile, as Pastor Rick mentioned, the number of abortions are on the rise. And Barack said an amazing thing. We can fight and argue and scream all we like, but that won't change anything. Let's look for the common ground, for that stuff we can agree on. I think we can all agree that unwanted pregnancies lead directly to abortions. I think we can all agree that fewer abortions is a good thing. I think we can find a way to reduce the number of unwanted pregnancies, and thereby, the number of abortions.

That's his magic. Let's see if we can even try to find what we agree about and work from there. He know that, while a large number of Americans can't wait for him to take office, a similar number of Americans feel like they lost and the country's going to go to hell in a handbasket. With the choice of Rick Warren, and presumably many other decisions he'll make, he's saying, "I am not the Opposition. I am your president. I hear your cries. I care about what you care about. We have common goals. Let us strive to work together to reach those goals. Yes, we have many different opinions about things, but this doesn't make us foes. It makes us human. When Americans work together, great things are achieved." His Rick Warren choice speaks to Evangelical Christians with that message, hopefully, but it also speaks to us on the left. It says to us, "Look, this business of progress and American security is going to require you, the Janeane Garafolos of the world, to stop shooting from the hip and to try your best to take these other Americans seriously. Yes, we find much of their philosophy and world view repulsive. But not all of it. Let's all try to hear each other and respect each other and try to find areas of common ground."

Couldn't have said it better myself. Oh wait... I did say it myself.

What Is Love, Anyway?

Or happiness? What is healing? What is contentment? The Buddha said that old age and death are the raging brush fires just over the horizon that, from our birth, get closer and closer everfaster as each year passes-- fires that will certainly consume us all. That may sound depressing but I find it refreshingly honest from amongst the myriad religious pamphletography. Death is coming. What do we do with this life? What did you do? What are you going to do? Do you even think about the fact that one day, soon, you will draw your last breath and think, "Oh fuck! I'm dying!"?
At that moment, the vast majority of us will think, "What a waste! What a shame! If only I had it over to do again!"
But you don't, schmuck.
I've had flashes. Brief moments where I felt right with the world and with myself. In those fleeting moments I felt inspired to help anyone and everyone. I felt complete. I felt a sense of purpose. But that feeling passed, as it does, and I await the distant fires this side of the horizon, again.

Ridiculous Republican Arguments

"My son is fighting in Iraq to preserve your right to criticize your country." "Freedom isn't free! Remember our troops who fight for your freedom!" These are typical bumper-stickers, but the slightly more expanded argument underlying these sentiments goes like this: if it weren't for our men and women in uniform putting their lives on the line, none of us would enjoy the right to protest, the right to not incrimiminate ourselves, the right to a speedy trial before a jury of our peers, the right to worship (or not) as we please, the right to speak freely, etc., etc., etc.

Now, far be it from me to disparage our fine men and women military personnel. They do so very much for so very little, and I am truly grateful for all they do. But is all that really on their shoulders? Does democracy itself truly begin and end with their sacrifice?

No. The truth is that the military secures our borders and protects our nation from all enemies "foreign and domestic." It's a big, important job, to be sure, but it has almost nothing to do with our individual rights. Actually, it has nothing to do with rights. I say "almost" only because if we were invaded and yoked by outsiders, then we could say the military would be responsible for preserving our rights.

Other than that, what truly preserves our rights are the Constitution and our system of laws. We are a nation of laws. Your right to adequate legal representation, in the event that the state brings charges against you, is guaranteed by the Constitution, not the military. The surest way to preserve freedom in this country is to preserve the Constitution, and to appoint judges to the Supreme Court who can and will interpret the Constitution as dispassionately as possible. How can anyone really believe that our young people in Iraq are fighting for our freedom? Again, not to diminish their sacrifices and efforts, but what the hell does that war have to do with Americans' freedoms and rights? When was the last war that did? I think it was around 1776. About seven years later, we had an official, foundational, writ of Law ever since known as the Constitution. All of our rights and freedoms are found within. All of them.

Nothin' Says Lovin' Like 2 Buns In The Oven

This is me and my sister. We were sitting in a corner chatting at a party and thought it would be funny to take a "candid" picture of ourselves. My arm is out of frame holding my digital camera, and we're mugging for the shot with fake reactions and even fake discussion. But I like to think it was supposed to go like this:

Her: "I'm pregnant!"

Me: "No way! So cool!"

Her: "I know, isn't it?!"

Me: "I'm so very happy for you. That's fantastic! I love you so much. Congratulations!"

Her: "Thank you! Thank you! I can't wait for you to be an uncle. I know you will be a wonderful, loving, and grounded influence."

Me: "Well, I can teach my nephews (you said you had male twins, right?) how to play Zeppelin tunes, how to use one thumb to both kill a man and bring a woman to mind-blowing orgasm, and how to read, write, and speak conversational Korean."

Her: "Um, okay?"

Me: "You're welcome."

Courting Joe The Strummer

Intelligent, socially aware, and compassionate musicians like Joe the Strummer (RIP), Bono the Singer, Melissa the Lesbian, and Dave the Bohemian know exactly why the world needs Barack Obama right now:
The Republican Party is increasingly becoming the party of greed, intolerance, hatred, and exclusivism. The party of "I got mine, fuck you!"
The party of blame and fear and willful ignorance. The party of sanctimonious, self-righteous arrogance. The world is, arguably, a more dangerous place than ever, and Joe the Strummer and others like him understsand that we will all benefit from an American president whom the world sees as a uniting, calm, and inclusive presence in the White House. One who won't be the world's doormat, but who has already demonstrated clear-headed, rational thinking and a desire to create a better world for everyone. What's so funny 'bout peace, love, and understanding?

Divide and Conquer

I'm spitting mad. Millions of Americans believe what their Republican leaders tell them. That's elected leaders and Republican media personalities. I'm furious because when Sarah Palin, Rick Davis-- McCain's campaign director, Bill O'Reilly, even John McCain himself, when they say things like "The American people need to know the extent of Senator Obama's relationship to domestic terrorist, Bill Ayers," and "Senator Obama sees America as so flawed that he needs to pal around with terrorists..." and so on, when they say things like that more and more as the election nears, they KNOW they are lying! It isn't just the lying that infuriates me. I expect politicians to stretch the truth beyond reason. Both sides twist the other's policies into caricatures that are more easily ridiculed. But this hateful, racist, fear-mongering, divisive, terrorist talk is beyond the pale. If Obama wins, millions of Americans will believe that a real life terrorist has just been elected to the highest office in the land, or at least that he is a terrorist sympathizer. If McCain wins, millions of Americans will know that their shot at real change, at history-making, race-barrier-shattering hope was stolen from them by a gang of hateful liars. Either way, our president's credibiity and authority will be seriously undermined, and either way, the divide between the left and the right will grow far wider, while the enmity and distrust of each other brews to dangerous levels. There is no good that can come from these willful, deceitful tactics. Winning at all costs and by any means necessary is not only un-American, it is evil and treasonous.

Race

Mother and son look so happy in this photo. It's funny (not in a "haha" way) how different people will see different things when looking at this photo. Despite the adorable little boy's ebullient, cherubic face and his mother's obvious pride, some will see only a woman who demeaned herself and betrayed her race by laying with a black man, and the abominable result of that coupling. That is an overtly racist, extreme view. Another equally racist and extreme view is that of another black man seeking a white woman as some sort of status symbol, as if women of African descent aren't good enough. The opposite to both, yet not-so-extreme-at-all observation is that of a lovely and loving young mother holding her innocent, beautiful baby boy. Full stop.

He is not "other" in her eyes. He came from her. He is part of her. They are as connected as mother and child can be. Among other things, this photograph is a symbol of just how arbitrary and ultimately insignificant our antiquated notions of race really are. It is also an embarassing example of one real difference between "whites" and "blacks" in America. The child is obviously the product of this white woman and a black man. But white people see him as black, "other," not "one of us," whereas black people, for the most part, also readily see him as black, but that is, by definition "one of us." I can't help but conclude that black people are generally more tolerant and accepting than white people. I mean, he is right down the middle. One very white parent, one very black parent. Yet he can not pass for a white guy. But, shouldn't he be able to claim either side equally? And shouldn't whites and blacks alike feel free to claim him as "our own"? The more I dissect this the more frustrated and disgusted I get.

The boy in the picture, in case you haven't figured it out, is Barack Obama. His mother looks a lot like my mother. Our fathers look a little different, but so what? 2,000 generations and 50,000 years ago, all of our ancestors were about to walk out of the African continent for the first time in human history. Everyone alive today, no matter where you live, whether in Alabama, Albania, Australia, or Austria, is a descendant of an African. It's not my opinion. It's not an abstruse interpretation of the fossil record. It's a fucking fact. It's in the genetic record, the genetic map that people much smarter than I have deciphered and illustrated.

Race is a sham. Race is a scam. A shell game. Don't buy it! It's for losers.

Damn, I'm Gonna Miss You Hot, Crazy Republican Bitches

No matter who wins the presidential election, one thing's for sure- George Bush and his entire camp of nitwits will be out on their asses! And that can't be a bad thing. Or can it? Hang on a second. Who is this vision in pink and blonde? Dana Perino, the last of the Bush administration's empty-headed puppets... er... um... press secretaries. Oh my. Excuse me, Ms. Perino, I believe I dropped my briefs on your floor. How clumsy of me. Do you think you could help me out here? I wrote this speech and I can't help but wonder how it would sound coming on.. from! that amazing mouth of yours. Yeah... that's it. Mmmm... way to "Eliza Doolittle" it. Sounds like you've got marbles in your mouth. The blame for the shame of ignorance of Spain falls wholly on McCain. Repeat! "Ra rame ror ra rame or rame rars rayry or rararain." By Jove, I think she's got it!

Now, I know I might be over-confident at this still-early stage, but the Obama/Biden ticket has a seven point lead! Exactly 30 days to go and my guy is well ahead! I'm very excited! Woo hoo! Yay! Oh... hold on a sec. That will mean no more Nancy Pfotenhauer (pronounced foten-hower), senior advisor to the McCain campaign.

Nancy, I'm SOOOO conflicted! On the one hand, I can't wait to see your candidate give his concession speech and fade into the annals of history. On the other hand, paraphrasing Prince, I'd sincerely like to Pfuck the taste out of your mouth. I mean, you look pretty Pfit for a Pforty-something mother of Pfour. Pforgive me Pfor being so Pflagrantly Pfoul. I just can't Pfight this Pfeeling.
Oh yeah. I'm gonna miss you.


Oooooo... Ms. School Marm....
I think I'll miss you the most. Before you go, I hope you'll hold me after class. I've been a very bad boy, and I intend to show you just how bad I can be.
I bet that bun comes down with one motion. Bowwwm-chaka-bowwm-chaka-chaka-bow-wow.
Yes, ma'am. I should never have played doctor with my 10th grade classmate, Jennifer, behind the bungalow. I'm sorry you had to see that.
You didn't see it, you say?
I'm sure we can correct that oversight. Sorry, I know you don't approve of oversight. I meant... er... "drill, baby, drill!" That's what I wanna do. Right over there on your sofa/taxidermied grizzly bear. I'm gonna treat you like that moose on your wall- stuffed and mounted- and then send you packing back to Alaska. You betcha.

Sagredo apologizes for such sexist trash. Sagredo just can't help himself.

America- Palin's Talkin' To Ya

She did a lot better than I expected, but then I expected her to freeze and stand there silently for about 20 seconds before bursting into tears crying, "I don't know what I'm doing here! I wanna go home!"
So she did better than that. But that's not saying much. The fact is she evaded most of the questions, preferring to find a way, however inartfully, to wind her way to one of the handful of carefully rehearsed talking points she crammed for at McCain's Sedona ranch these last four days. Even her usually charming folksy-cutesy stuff seemed canned and awkward. She demonstrated no knowledge of foreign policy, world affairs, American military policies, or the economy. She added nothing to the debate, and I mean our national debate: who has the best plans for moving our country forward? In the end, though, she did no harm, and I suppose that's all the McCain folks were hoping for. After all, it could have been a lot worse.

Goodbye, And Thank You

I don't know what to say, so I suppose "goodbye" and "thank you" are a good start. Growing up, I always knew where my mother stood on Paul Newman. He was simply the best-looking, most amazing specimen of human maleness in the universe. My parents had a funny faux arrangement- they could each pick their fantasy celebrity sexual tryst person and if either of them, as unlikely as it would be, ever actually had the opportunity, well, they'd be given a pass. Mom's pick was Paul Newman. I believe Dad's was Sophia Loren, or as he claimed was stated on her birth certificate, Sophia Claudia Cardinale Gina Lollabrigida Loren.

Back to Paul, though. Yeah, he was a great looking guy. Those looks got him into the movies. He really was just a pretty face back in 1952 when he got his start. But he grew to become one of America's finest film actors. He is truly part of the fabric of our lives. Part of mine, anyway. I've seen Cool Hand Luke at least a dozen times. Cat On A Hot Tin Roof. Hud. The Hustler. The Sting. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Absence of Malice. The Verdict. The Hudsucker Proxy. The Road To Perdition. All the great moments. Taking a pipe-cutter to parking meters. Punching Charlotte Rampling in the face for betraying him. Staying up all night getting bested at 9-ball by Jackie Gleason. Spending another night in the box. Taking on the Bolivian federales. Pulling off the incredible long con. And the lines. He sure delivered a lot of great lines. In Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Butch and Sundance meetup with the Hole In The Wall Gang, whereupon a big man among them (played by Ted Cassidy, a.k.a. Lurch from the Addams Family) challenges Butch to a knife fight for supremacy in the gang. "What's this all about?" asks Butch. Ted's character responds, "I'm fighting you for the leader spot." "The gang's already got a leader." "You always said, any time any one of us feels man enough to take the reins to step on up and take it from you." "Well, that's only because I figured nobody ever would." My favorite, I think, is from Cool Hand Luke, from the scene in which Luke and the film gets its name. Luke gets in on the prison farm's weekly poker game and wins by betting huge and forcing his opponent to fold. As he collects the pot he shows his cards. The loser exclaims, "You got nothin'! You bet it all on nothin' cards?!" Paul flashed that cool, easy smile and replied, "Sometimes nothin' is a real cool hand." We'll miss you, Paul.

Obama Concedes Election With Wordy But Nuanced Argument

In the first, and what appears to be last, of the presidential debates, Senator Obama agreed with nearly everything that his Republican rival said. "I agree with Senator McCain that we need tighter regulation of Wall Street... Senator McCain and I agree on the need for an overhaul on how we do business in Washington," the Illinois Senator said. Mr. Obama made it a point to tell the American people no less than six times that he agreed with John McCain, that John McCain was right. And in a soliloquy that most Americans may have missed for its eloquence and subtlety, Senator Obama graciously bowed out of the presidential race. "Again, my opponent is right. He really does make a lot of very good points, doesn't he? In fact, why don't we just let him run the country? With his concise slogans, snap decisions, unpredictable temperament, and stubborn refusal to acknowledge both the truth and any valid points I make, he is clearly more suited to the job. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to return to my home state where I intend to continue fighting to raise taxes for poor families and to make sure that kindergarteners have graphic sex education in all public schools. Right after my afternoon prayer session. Which way is Mecca?"

White Men, I Come In Peace, Not In Your Wives

I'm not so threatening, my white brothers. Sure, statistically, my penis could be up to 15% larger than yours. Yes, African-Americans, like me, are 95% more likely than their white fellow citizens to either have criminal records themselves, or have a relative in prison, giving us a reason to be just a tad angry at the white system of justice. Don't even get us started on slavery.
Perhaps you've noticed how we lead the field in athletics, including those elite sports you've tried so hard to keep us out of until recently, like tennis and golf.
Try to ignore that nagging feeling that the Negro just might be the true master race after all, and that your White ass will get its come-uppance soon (see big black penis reference from first paragraph). Relax. I'm very well-spoken. Not at all threatening. Jerome! Where's my mirror?
I... I been watchin' U... I think I want to know ya know ya [oh wee oh wee oh]
Said I... I'm a little dangerous... Girl I'd love to show ya show ya [oh wee oh wee oh]
My jungle love- Hunnnh! Good God! [Oh wee oh wee oh]

McCain Is Clear And Consistent

"The fundamentals of our economy are strong."
"The fundamentals of our economy are at risk!"
"We need to create a commission to analyze the economic meltdown."
"We know what went wrong! We don't need no stinking commission!"
"I don't know much about economics."
"I never said I don't know much about economics."
"I am fundamentally a de-regulator."
"We need more regulations and oversight on banking institutions."
"I'm against the AIG bailout."
"We must bail out AIG."

ALL this in the last ten days. From the same guy.

Space, The Final Franchise

Oh my god, I can not wait! I love the Star Trek universe. Gene Roddenberry and his Star Trek were way, way ahead of their time. It premiered in 1965, the year Black Americans gained the right to vote, nationally. At the height of the Cold War. Yeah, James Tiberius Kirk was a little too quick to fight, and some of the moral lessons of the show seem like "just so" naive plays by today's standards. But still... there was a Black woman officer, a Russian helmsman, an Asian navigator, and a fucking pointy-eared Pan-devil alien chief science officer on the bridge. In 1965. And their mission (their 5-year mission) was to explore strange, new worlds. To seek out new life and new civilizations, and to go boldly where no one had gone before (cleaned up the sexism and the split infinitive in one fell swoop).
I love Trek for the same reason (I think) so many others do: It's inspiring and hopeful. It suggests the very best of humanity and even points the way. That goes for the original series and perhaps even more so in the Next Generation. Not that I want to fight over that. It's all encouraging and inspiring. That goes for Voyager and Deep Space Nine, and Enterprise. It's an enduring franchise. It's a universe that speaks to so many of us. But Hollywood is fickle, and it's hard to keep mining the same vein and expect to hit gold.
That's where JJ Abrams comes in. This guy is the hot new thing. Creator of "Alias." Creator of "Lost." He singlehandedly saved the Mission: Impossible series, in my opinion. Here is a man who can give us a fresh, exciting look at familiar friends. If you don't like LOST you haven't seen it. If you've seen it and still don't like it you're an idiot. Why am I talking to you? Go see Trek when it comes out, fool.

Daily Show Clip O' The Month

LIARS!

All right, motherfuckers, the gloves are off! Time to call a spade a spade. These people are liars. They habitually tell lies. They have no compunctions about looking you right in the eye and telling you something that they not only know to be false, but know there's a good possibility you know it's false, too. And they say it anyway! The fucking balls on these people.

They say things like, "I said 'Thanks, but no thanks,' to that 'Bridge to Nowhere," and "I sold the governor's jet on eBay," and "I shook up Alaska and have opposed earmarks," for Palin's part. And McCain will look you right in the eye and say, "I knew all along that Iraq was going to be a long and difficult fight," and "I gave the Viet Cong the names of the Pittsburg Steelers defensive line when they interrogated me for the names of commanding officers," and "I never said I didn't know much about the economy."

The list is painfully long. I'm sure I left out some much better examples, but these were the three (each) that I pulled from the top of my head. And consider this- it is a fact that John McCain called his wife a "trollop" and a "cunt" in front of reporters and aides. That he would call his wife such things at all speaks to his character. The fact that he called her these things in public speaks to his judgment. It speaks volumes. I mean, doesn't it? C'mon, even you hardcore wackjob conservative fundies have to admit that such an outburst belies his wisened war-hero image, right? If not, what would? Does he have to beat his wife on live television and urinate on the American flag before there's even a murmur among Republicans that he may not be fit to lead our nation?

What about Sarah Palin not knowing what the Bush Doctrine is? I almost felt bad for her. Sure, lots of Americans probably don't know what the Bush Doctrine is. And they don't necessarily need to nor should they be expected to. Unless they're running for Vice motherfucking President of the United motherfucking States, claiming that they're more experienced than some stupid ass "community organizer"! These are insincere people who just want to get into office at any cost. They don't care about you. They care about their corporate sponsors, and that's it. Can it be any more obvious? "You can actually see Russia from Alaska," and did you know that "Barack Obama wants to teach sex education to kindergarteners"?

That Appetizer You Like...

It's pronounced broo-sketta.

You're welcome.

POW, Right In The Kisser

Gay Republicans, In And Out Of The Closet, Endorse McCain

In a monumentally ineffectual move against their own interests, oxymoronic gay Republican group "The Log Cabin Republicans" officially endorsed John McCain, the GOP nominee.
"Sen. McCain is no George Bush when it comes to gay issues. We are much more optimistic and enthusiastic about Sen. McCain," Patrick Sammon, the group's president, told Reuters. The endorsement may boost McCain's reputation as a maverick who reaches across partisan lines, but it may not go down well (no pun intended) with his party's conservative Christian base.

"God hates fags! You people who choose to engage in sodomy and sin shall burn in hell forever!" suggested Governor Palin. "I mean," she added "that's what it says in the Bible." Yes, it does say that somewhere. Some would argue, and have, that that alone is reason to take a more critical look at traditional Christian attitudes. Do we, most of us, really want to be ruled by a bunch of superstitious fucking homophobes? I don't think so. At least, I fucking hope not. In other news, the NAACP has endorsed their pick for the new Grand Dragon of the Ku Klux Klan, and the United Union Workers of America have voted unanimously to stop pestering Home Depot, WalMart, General Motors, and all supermarket chains. "You guys can probably take better care of workers' interests than we can, let's face it," admitted a sheepish Jim Hoffa, Jr., president of the United Teamsters Union.

Media Boosting Myth About OffShore Drilling Potential – Paper

SustainableBusiness.com News

The media has played a significant role in convincing Americans that offshore drilling for oil in the United States could significantly lower the price of gasoline, according to an analysis released by the Center for Economic and Policy Research.
Even though the U.S. Department of Energy's (DOE) Energy Information Agency has stated that the benefits from such drilling would be too small to have any significant effect on oil prices, the media has overwhelmingly conveyed the impression that it could. Media coverage of the issue may have influenced public opinion, with a majority now favoring expanded drilling.
"This is a clear case where the overwhelming majority of the media has not done its job," said CEPR Co-Director and co-author of the paper, Mark Weisbrot.
The paper, "Oil Drilling In Environmentally Sensitive Areas: The Role of the Media," finds that in 267 television news broadcasts, the Energy Information Agency data was cited only once. Also, in 91% of the news programs in this sample, there was not even an opposing opinion presented.
"There really isn't any excuse for the media to ignore the official data on this issue," said Weisbrot. "It's like reporting on the economy and ignoring the official data on GDP growth, unemployment, or inflation. No wonder the public is confused."

Read more- http://www.sustainablebusiness.com/index.cfm/go/news.display/id/16702

Jesus Endorses Obama/Biden Ticket

“I don’t usually endorse a candidate, or even a party, despite what some say. But this election is just too important. You can’t survive four more years of the same old politics. John McCain will continue the failed policies of George Bush. He’s said so already by admitting that he voted with the president over 90% of the time, when he shouts about off-shore drilling, and when he prattles on about the “success” of “the surge,” as if the last year was the whole story of the war in Iraq.”

The freakishly Western-European-featured Semitic savior added, “And that shrew of a running mate will do her best to erode women’s Me-given right to choose what is best for their bodies and their future. She wants to foist prayer on people in public schools. What did I say about praying like the Pharisees? And Creationism? Lady, please. Do I really need to go back and add a new foreword explaining the subtleties of metaphor and parables? Come on people! For My sake! What will it take for you all to wake up?”

McCain Campaign: "We meant to do that!"

As McCain droned on about his POW experience and co-opted the Obama campaign's message of change, a powerful image of the Walter Reed Army Medical Center, which has famously cared for so many wounded military men and women (and infamously ignored many others) served as his backdrop. Oh wait, that's not the WRAMC in Virginia! That's Walter Reed Middle School in North Hollywood, California!

It could have been worse. That poor staffer could have used another of the many Google images she collected while surfing for a suitable tableau, like this one of the little cabin that Walter Reed was born in (right)-

This is the place (left) that they meant to exploit, er... use to underscore their proprietary, arrogant attitude and specious contention that they are the "real" patriots. Someone's getting fired.

The principal of Walter Reed Middle School, Donna Tobin, released a statement on the school's website saying that the school had not given permission for the footage to be used, "nor is the use of our school’s picture an endorsement of any political party or view."

McCain's McMortgage McCrisis McWoes

As a U.S. senator, Phil Gramm shepherded a law easing regulation of energy-commodity trading, and California experienced a sharp run-up in energy costs. Some of you may recall that California’s Democratic governor, Gray Davis, was scape-goated over this debacle and subsequently removed from office in a controversial recall election won by current Governator, Arnold Schwarzenegger. Energy-trading giant, Enron, was blamed for the gouging and fraud and soon went down in a hail of subpoenas and indictments.
In 1999, Gramm lobbied successfully to have Congress revoke the Depression-era Glass-Steagall Act, removing the decades-old wall between commercial banking, which was heavily regulated, and investment banking, which was not. The Gramm-Leach-Bliley Act did not extend significant new regulation to investment banking. Some economists point to Gramm’s deregulatory efforts like these, along with poor oversight and lax enforcement, for not only the current crisis in the subprime mortgage industry, but for the cascading crises in other finance sectors.

And we must keep in mind, or rather, Obama and Biden must keep reminding us-

1. that Phil Gramm and the Republican party are responsible for the grave recession we find ourselves in;
2. that John McCain still relies on Gramm’s counsel and has hinted that he would appoint Gramm Secretary of the Treasury if he gets elected;
3. and that Phil Gramm said, as recently as July of this year, that America’s financial troubles are all in our minds. I believe he said it is a “mental recession,” and that we’re all a bunch of “whiners.”
   

As Jared Bernstein of the Economic Policy Institute told the Washington Post, “McCain is counting on people having very short memories and not connecting some pretty obvious dots here.”

Palin Haiku(s)

Big oil governor
forty-seventh largest state
by population
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
O pious Christian
Please tell us whom we may fuck
And whom we may not
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I must now admit
Liking the looks and the style
But that voice cracks glass
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lie, Dragon Lady
Do distort the facts some more
Works most ev'ry time

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Caribou Barbi
I heard that nickname somewhere
I do like it so

Yes, Her Teenaged Daughter's Pregnancy Is Relevant

Here's why: Governor Sarah Palin is a staunch advocate of abstinence-only programs. She opposes sex education in public schools (while supporting creationism in public schools). She opposes making contraceptives accessible to teenagers. Palin, and right-wingers like her, believe that the only thing teenagers need to hear about sex is: DON'T DO IT! Yeah, see how well that works?

It's not that she must be a bad mom, or that she can't manage her own family, let alone a nation. Seriously. These things do happen to real families of all political stripes. It is not a personal issue. It's a relevant political issue. If she has her way, she will snip out any and all sex ed your kid might get in school. If she has her way, anyone under eighteen won't even be able to purchase a condom without parental consent. If she has her way, all young women who have been denied the facts of reproduction and access to contraceptives will also be denied the right to decide for themselves what to do with their own bodies, and their own lives. Governor Palin's 17-yr old daughter's pregnancy serves to underscore the utter futility and ridiculousness of the "just say no" approach to teen sex.

Newsflash! Young people really like fucking. And, as with all enticing yet forbidden things, the more they are denied it, the more they gotta have it. Particularly if "it" is fucking. I'm quite fond of fucking, myself [sad, but true, if unintended pun]. Evangelicals are asking our hormone-overloaded teens to deny their biological imperative; a biological imperative forged by millions of years of evolutionary processes. Oh, right... she doesn't believe in evolution. She thinks "God" poofed everything into existence a few thousand years ago. Who's the one with the pregnant teen, again?

RNC Morphs into Jerry Lewis-Style Telethon

From The Huffington Post today:

September 1, 2008 at 07:01 PM
"The PR push by the GOP to present itself as the party that puts "country first" was already broken by the first night of Republican National Convention.
Fearful of "Katrina deja-vu," GOP officials worked furiously to prove to voters that they could manage a disaster in a way the Bush administration failed to do three years ago.
The convention opened Monday night with a video presentation of Gulf Coast governors introduced by Cindy McCain and Laura Bush. "This is a time when we take off our Republican hats."

Yes, it is the Republican Party that really cares about the downtrodden. If anyone can respond to a natural disaster that threatens the poor and the middle class, it is Buch-Cheney-McCain-Palin. Afterall, they were so sensitive during the aftermath of Katrina-

"What I'm hearing which is sort of scary is that they all want to stay in Texas. Everybody is so overwhelmed by the hospitality. And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway so this (chuckle) – this is working very well for them." –Former First Lady Barbara Bush, on the hurricane evacuees at the Astrodome in Houston, Sept. 5, 2005

John McCain cautioned against overspending in support of Katrina victims: "We also have to be concerned about future generations of Americans," he said. "We're going to end up with the highest deficit, probably, in the history of this country." Right. Because of helping victims. Not at all because of Iraq or any of the other examples of gross mismanagement by the Bush administration.

"Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job." –President Bush, to FEMA director Michael Brown, while touring hurricane-ravaged Mississippi, Sept. 2, 2005

You can not be serious!

Huh? WTF?! Do Republicans really think that women are that stupid? Frustrated Hillary supporters won't be able to vote for her in November, but this 1/2 term governor of a sparsely populated state, ex-mayor of Bumfuck, Egypt, this former beauty pageant contestant, gun-toting enemy of polar bears and women's rights is somehow the next-best-thing? Really? McCain, if elected, will be the oldest man ever sworn in as president. He has battled cancer no less than four times. His medical history file is over 1200 pages! Is he really going to try to sell us on the idea that he believes she is ready to lead this nation should anything happen to him? Presumably, while continuing to deny Barack Obama's readiness and experience? Oh, Gramps.

The Abortion Issue

I was fortunate enough to have been at the Saddleback Church Civic Forum on August 16, 2008 in Lake Forest, CA. Pastor Rick Warren asked the presumptive Democratic nominee for president of the United States, Barack Obama, "At what point does a baby get human rights, in your view?"
Senator Obama then launched into a very sensitive, very intelligent, and very nuanced response to that question, a question that he must have heard as "at what point does a fetus become a person?"
I know he was in hostile territory trying to win some hearts and minds. I know he was caught off guard with these questions (unlike McCain). But he really did come off as too uncertain, too apologetic. My answer, admittedly with the benefit not only of hindsight but of hearing Sen. Obama's and others' responses to this question, is as follows:

"Well, first of all, Pastor Rick, and with all due respect, the way you phrased that question perfectly exemplifies the divide in this country over this issue. The answer to the question, as you asked it, is: 'Of course "babies" are entitled to human rights at all times, without question.' The implication in your phrasing is that supporters of Roe v Wade have no regard for babies whatsoever, that millions of Americans are absolutely cavalier about snuffing out the lives of innocent infants. I humbly submit to you and the members of this church, and to evangelicals and all so-called pro-lifers across this great country, that this is not the question that pro-choicers are wrestling with. Nor are we wrestling with the question of when life begins. Clearly, life begins at conception. A living egg cell is fertilized by a living sperm cell becoming a living zygote. The living zygote divides again and again, becoming a living embryo. The multi-cellular embryo gradually develops the phenotypic anatomy of humanness and is called a fetus. The fetus grows in size and, more importantly, in nervous system complexity, developing a spinal network and the tell-tale neo-cortex indicative of the human brain, beginning at about 21 weeks. No, the issue we wrestle with is not when life begins. It's not when babies have human rights. The question for us is: "When does a fetus become a person?" Now, to answer that question with specificity is above my pay-grade, frankly. Clearly, there is much debate over this question in America. However, as Commander in Chief I will have to err on the side of the known person, the young woman seeking an abortion, because a) none of us dispute her status as a person, and b) the decision to rule against her would seem to be based on the religious views of a certain sector, and I am not comfortable with legislating the religious views of anyone.
That is why I support a woman's right to choose. It's because it is a complex and difficult issue, not because I don't care about a baby's rights! It's because so many more lives are impacted by unwanted pregnancies than just the potential lives of the unwanted fetuses, not because I love abortions and think we should have abortions all the time, for sport. Nobody really thinks that way, and it is harmful and disingenuous to suggest otherwise. Look, we've had a pro-life president in the White House for the last 8 years and we're no closer to solving the abortion issue. Maybe it's time we stop shouting past each other and start talking to each other about what we have in common. We can all agree that reducing the number of unwanted pregnancies is a good thing. It will lead to fewer abortions by definition. Until we can talk to each other from a place of agreement and common ground, nothing will get done. I'm willing to work with you if you're willing to work with me."

I, Sagredo

In 1632, Galileo Galilee published his "Dialogue Concerning The Two Chief World Systems- Ptolemaic and Copernican." The Church, of course, held fast to the Ptolemaic view, the view supported by the Bible, that the earth is the center of the universe. Galileo had the temerity to utilize observation and measurements and calculations to arrive at the most reasonable answers to such questions. The Church/State began all such "investigations" with the presumption that the Bible is inerrant. Needless to say, Galileo, and all men of science in their day, had to tread very lightly when introducing any new ideas that might contradict the accepted doctrine. A common literary device of the day, and one which made the author appear at least nominally neutral, was the dialogue. In this case, Galileo presented his helio-centric view in terms of a fictional discussion held among three men: Salviati- an intellectual espousing the Copernican view (clearly speaking for Galileo), Simplicio- an Aristotlean philosopher supporting the then-orthodox view of geo-centrism (the position of the Church), and Sagredo- an intelligent layman in search of the truth (with whom we, the reader, are meant to identify).
Of course we do identify with Sagredo. We should identify with Sagredo. We should be open-minded and willing to hear the arguments of all sides, and further, to weigh those arguments against our own critical thinking and logical skills before reaching any conclusions. To me, this is the elegance of Galileo's "Dialogue." He not only gently introduces his new, blasphemous paradigm, but he presents the oppositional arguments and shows the reader (by following Sagredo's line of reasoning) how to properly digest these arguments. Genius. Too bad he was imprisoned and forced to recant anyway. Oh well. At least the Church acknowledged their error and apologized for it almost 400 years later.
That spirit of open-mindedness, of critical thinking, of justice and truth, that attitude and hunger of Sagredo's persists to this day. It is the highest ethics of journalism. It is the solemn duty of elected and appointed officials. It is the right and obligation of our citizens to ask- what are the facts? what is then the best way to proceed? Salviati may know best, or perhaps it is Simplicio who will deliver us from despair. Sagredo is not certain. Sagredo wants to hear the facts and the persuasive arguments from all sides before making a decision. Sagredo Lives. Sagredo Speaks.